What A Trip

I work many long and odd hours, and travel quite a bit for my job, so
it is very rare that I get to spend time with my wonderful
girlfriend. We had decided to go on a date, and while at the movies,
I received 6 or 7 calls in a row from my boss. Finally, I decided to
leave the theater because who would call someone that many times
unless it was an emergency. My boss, who is a director, was in a
meeting with his VP.

He said, “Thank God you called *****! We need
your expertise. How much does it cost to fly from Kansas City to
Denver”? I thought I was going to have an anurism but instead I
responded, “I am not sure, I would guess 150-400 dollars round trip,
but I would check online.” They both thanked me with all of their
hearts, and apparently got it all worked out.

Between the two of them they make 8 times what I do…ridiculous!

Christmas Bogus

Every year, my boss would close the shop between Christmas and New
Years Day. On our last day of work before Christmas, he would give us
our paycheck plus another paycheck in advance for the week we were
going to be closed. Year after year, this was our Christmas bonus, a
week off paid in advance.
This year we went back to work on Monday January 4th. When we asked
for our paychecks on Friday January 8th, my boss said “Paychecks? I
gave them to you before Christmas. Remember?”

Retaining Water

My old boss from a couple years back (thank God) was asking my
pregnant co-worker a work related question.

She couldn’t give him an answer, and he didn’t understand what was so
hard about the question, so he immediately went off on her and asked
her, “Don’t you retain anything other than water?”

He tried to high-five me after the insult, thinking it was very
clever….Awkward silence.

I Do…

My boss married her general manager. It was a whirlwind affair. We were all lucky enough to testify at their divorce hearing…six months later.