Cat Woman

I am the secretary for a state run agency. My boss is the type of
person that works 7 days a week, has no children, husband, boyfriend,
or girlfriend that I know of and has several cats.

Whenever someone has an issue regarding their children, she compares
that to her cats. “Oh, it’s like when my cat fell…” or “Oh, at
least my cats don’t have to wear diapers, they are all potty
trained…in the litterbox that is.” She says this chuckling like she
is so funny!

If someone calls in sick, she makes sure everyone knows why. She has
offered counseling to an employee (part of a work-help thing) then
turned around and told other people about it (it’s supposed to be
confidential). Another employee is out on administrative leave
pending an investigation and she told a co-worker of mine all of the
details, which is supposed to be SUPER CONFIDENTIAL.

She asks why I am not busy. I tell her because there is not really anything
to do. She tells me that she will find something for me. She has been
saying that for the past 6 months! Still nothing. Literally. I think
that maybe I will fax something every once in a while, copy something
and input stuff into the computer. Those things take LITERALLY 1 hour
at the most COMBINED! That leaves a lovely 7 hours of complete and
utter boredom and trying not to fall asleep on the job!

Better Off Dead

Many years ago I worked cold calls for a Broadway theater selling
season tickets. Whenever a person requested to opt-out or the line
was dead we had to put a sticky note on the lead describing the
reasons for removing it and drop it in a bin. One day, after about
two weeks of not having made a single sale, I called a lead and was
informed that the person had recently died. I apologized for the
disturbance, put a sticky note on the lead and into the bin.

A few days later my manager calls me into his office and explains to
me that when we call a dead lead we should engage the person who
answered by telling them that “Mr. Smith” was a great patron of the
theater and the purchase of season tickets would make a great
memorial.

I quietly went back to my desk, closed the one big sale I managed to
make and quit.

White On White

Several years ago I worked for a service company franchise. The
company had recently placed a help wanted ad in the newspaper and
several applicants came in while the branch manager was out of the
office. When he returned I handed him the stack of applications and
mentioned to him that the application on top belonged to a very well
dressed, polite young man that I thought would make a nice addition
to our team. The boss looked at me and said “Breast or thigh?” I gave
him a puzzled look and wondered if he was in some weird way sexually
harassing me. I said “Excuse me?” He said “You know, breast or thigh?”

I said I have no idea what you are talking about. He sighed and said
“Wing or leg?” Then it occurred to me what the contrast was. I said
“Are you asking me about his race?” The manager nodded slowly (I guess
if he didn’t come right out and say it, it wasn’t wrong??). I said he
was a young black man, but he was the only one that came in here
dressed decent. He was very polite and I think would be a good
representative of our company while at a customer’s home. The manager
then said, “Well, that’s too bad, the White’s (ironically enough the
owner’s last name was White) like to keep about a 20% ratio
throughout the branches and we’re already a little over that
percentage.”

Looking back I wish I would have reported the company.

Blizzard Of ’99

I used to work for a daycare in Pittsburgh, PA as the teacher for the
2 year old classroom. My boss at the time was a real piece of
work.

To start, after half the staff in my room quit, I only had one helper
in my classroom of 27 two year olds and she had a seizure disorder
that rendered her useless at times. I have more than my fair share of
stories but will only share this one prime example…

One winter day we got over 4 feet of snow dumped on us overnight
which rendered most of the local roads non-drivable. I called the
daycare, expecting nobody to be there, to tell my boss that my road
had not been cleared so I could not come in for my shift that day. Low
and behold she was there and mad about the fact that I was not there
yet, I was told to get there as soon as I could.

The snow was completely encasing my car to it’s roof! What did she
expect me to do? My shift started at 7 but my road was not cleared
until about 12 and I called again and was told that if I valued my
job I was to show up.

It was a very treacherous drive but my husband was sport enough to
try to get me there in our 4 wheel drive SUV. My normal commute was
only about 8 minutes most days but that day it took nearly 40 minutes
to get there because the roads were so slick and icy. To top it off
upon reaching the turn off to the daycare we noticed that the state
police had closed the road to due safety concerns and blocked it off
with wooden barricades, so we turned around and headed home. Once
there I called again and told my boss I tried to come in but the road
was closed.

She told me that it only proved what a lazy employee I was that I did
not get my butt out of the car to move the roadblock like she had and
that I should consider myself lucky that she did not fire me right
then and there.