I Need To Ass You A Few Questions

I work in insurance. The boss is a bit different. One day I was on
the phone with a company and looked up to see the boss in front of me
bent over with his hands on the sides of his cheeks using his ass to
‘talk’ to me. I don’t know how I kept my composure. I have never head
a grown superior do this.

Homepage Problems

My attorney boss is 49 years old and so computer illiterate it’s
sickening. He can barely do email. He insists in writing in all caps
although he’s been reminded by many people, including judges, that is
it RUDE and makes it seem like he is angry. He says he does it because
he can’t type well. (That makes no sense whatsoever, by the way.) One
day he started screaming at me to get our IT guy on the phone. He has
MSN set as his computer homepage and he was livid because they changed
the layout of the page. He wanted it back the old way! He said he
couldn’t “figure out” the new page. I had to call the IT guy and
relay the message. We just laughed and laughed.

5…4…3…2…1

I worked for a state agency in Texas, and it has been the strangest
working experience I’ve ever had. I liked all my co-workers (almost
all of them), but the boss and the agency were super odd. The boss
was always gone on Friday, and we called him Friday Fred. He was an
overly large man, and he was always on a diet, and he would cheat on
his diet with snack foods he kept in his drawers. If I walked into
his office and he was eating garbage food, he’d quickly shut the
drawer and pretend he wasn’t eating (even with a mouth full of food).
His next in command would go to the bathroom with a catalog, and we
all knew what he would be doing in there. Sometimes he’d get an
important call while he was on the throne, and I’d have to open up
the men’s room door and yell in to him to come and get the phone. The
most strange thing of all though is this: The office closed at 5 p.m.
At about 4:50, everyone started shutting down their work, and
grabbing their coats and bags – and they would all stand at the door
- and stare at the clock, waiting for the minute hand to get up to
the 12 at 5 p.m. exactly. They had to tell me for the first couple of
weeks to get up there and stand and be ready to go. As soon as it was
exactly 5 p.m., we’d all rush out the door and the boss would lock it
behind us. I went to work for a different state agency after that
after doing that odd thing at 5 p.m. for almost 4 years, and was
expecting it to be the same, and it wasn’t. They expected us to
always work overtime!

Writing Specialist

I worked at the Writing Lab for my university my first year as a
graduate student. My boss was the Writing Specialist and somehow
managed to obtain a Master’s degree in English, yet knows absolutely
nothing about literature and especially writing or grammar. She is
also the unfriendliest person I have ever met and looks constantly
miserable.

One day while there was some down time in the lab she asked me out
loud in front of a few students if there were two t’s in the word
‘writing.’ She has, by the way, a stack of her own business cards
with the words ‘Writing Specialist” on them right in front of her.

I told her no and silently wondered how she got this job.

A few minutes later she asked me if ‘even though’ was one word or
two.