Eat Out

I worked as a motel cleaner a few years back, and I only worked there
for a couple of weeks.

The person in charge of supervising me was one of the regular
cleaners there. I was told that we needed to clean the room in less
than 15 minutes; this included changing the sheets, cleaning the
bathroom and toilet areas, and cleaning up the kitchen.

One day we had to clean this very messy room; beds unmade, burnt pots
and dirty dishes on the tables and in the kitchen sinks.

I had changed the bedsheets (there were about 4 beds in that suite)
and cleaned the bathroom and toilet area (which was, for some reason,
soaking wet all over.)

By now I had spent nearly about 15 minutes cleaning, and I had yet to
clean the kitchen area and vacuum the lounge area. The supervising
cleaner was not happy that I had not completed my cleaning tasks
within the allotted time.

She told me to just forget vacuuming and to just wipe the plates and
glasses clean with a wet cloth. I had less than 5 minutes to do it
all. She stood over me as I hurriedly cleaned up the greasy dishes
and piling them back into the cabinet.

She then told me to just wipe the plates and glasses to make them
look clean as this saves time.

Folks, always wash your dishes and glasses when staying at
motels/hotels. Use super hot water. Or better yet, eat out.

Can You Hear Me Now?

One time my cell phone was having problems and I had to get a new
one. After that, my boss called me and asked in all seriousness if my
phone was working now. I was very tempted to say “no” and hang up.

Learn From The Best

I work in a deli at a local grocery store. My boss is something else.
Her most frequent on the clock activities include: reading magazines
in the aisles, as well as behind closed doors, taking frosting off
the shelf and then eating it straight from the container with a
spoon, talking obsessively to her best friend (who also works in the
store) while doing no work, recounting how she drove drunk the night
before, and spending as much time as possible in the office “faxing”.

One day, after she had been up in the office for quite some time she
paged me and told me to come upstairs. I went thinking I was in
trouble. She called me up to show me she made a Facebook page. Then
as the economy took a hit, business dwindled and she called a
mandatory meeting. She told us if we worked more like her the store
would be making more money.

Where’s The Beef?

I used to work in the distribution center of a woman’s clothing
company in the northeast. When I started working in the engineering
dept., the guy that hired me was great. He was a skater punk with a
engineering degree. He left for a better job and we got stuck with
alpha loser. Jim was an okay guy but he worked in other depts. for 10
years and was pretty much useless. Jim was afraid of confrontation to
the fact that he would run away from anyone that walked up to him too
quickly. Have you ever seen a 35 year old man sprint from a 70 year
old woman? He shared his office with 4 other dept. heads and it was 50
feet from the main cafeteria. He would often eat his lunch at his desk
hiding behind stacks of books. He was afraid someone would yell at
him for eating at his desk. Most people didn’t care what he did.

One day, I walked into his office and he was eating one of those
microwaveable Dinty Moore bowls. He saw me and threw
it in a desk drawer. I was shocked and he acted as if nothing had
happened. I asked him what was going on with the bowl and he played
it off as if nothing was the matter. He got up and left the office.

Later on that night, people kept wondering where that smell was coming
from. The next day at the same time, Jim was sitting at his desk eating
his stew. One of the maintenance crew walked in to investigate the
smell thinking it was a bad sewer line and before the guy could see
Jim eating, Jim threw his stew in his desk and left. Jim never
cleaned up his desk but “someone” threw it in the compactor 2 weeks
later when one of the maintenance crew threw up upon entering the
office.