Great Decision

A couple years back I worked at a well-known coffee shop chain inside
a grocery store. Everyone else hated the manager, but me, being new,
gave her the benefit of the doubt. I did my best to get along with
her, despite the fact she couldn’t schedule correctly to save her
life, couldn’t spell (and she insisted on labeling everything, so
even the customers could see her poor grasp of the English language),
kept us regularly understocked, was extremely overbearing, and thought
her shit didn’t stink.

My lease was coming up soon, and she mentioned she wanted to move
closer to work, so she asked me if I’d find a place with her and be
her room mate. She told me she had two small dogs, was clean, etc. I
decided I could deal – worst decision ever. My first red flag was
when the apartment manager tried hinting at me that L’s credit was
through the floor and it was basically my app that got us in. She
also lied about having one dog on the lease, which I finally found
out was HUGE. It was also very sick (and I ended up in the hospital 4
months later getting told I might not pull through, because of that
dog).

She was so deplorably dirty that, no matter what I did, the
cockroaches outside inevitably moved IN. What I thought was a good
location turned out to be a terrible one, downstairs behind two
restaurants. L’s habit of being filthy and the fact we had a half
inch gap under our front door was just asking for trouble. Well, it
came. Her pothead, drunk of a boyfriend would cook and let things
splatter everywhere and never clean up after himself. She would
constantly complain that she had to do all the work – except, it was
me doing it, trying to maintain a semblance of cleanliness. She also
had no concept of how to do laundry and continuously broke the
agitator (spinny thing in the washer), leaving me having to call
maintenance at least once a week.

Now, if I had an apron I left in the car and it had a little
chocolate sauce on it from an earlier shift, I didn’t much care and
wore an apron for an extra shift or two before washing it. She yelled
at me for this, demanding I be cleaner. Consider the fact that my room
was the ONLY bug-free bastion in our apartment, and after washing her
aprons (which didn’t get clean because she packed the washer so full)
she left them on the floor for the bugs and her disgusting dogs to
crawl over, I was a little dumbfounded. I still can’t understand how
someone can sanitize everything in sight at the workplace, and get
home and be filthier than a pig. Think about it, guys. You just don’t
know who is handling your food and making your coffee. Dog fur &
dander, cockroach poop, dog pee — her work uniform was a cesspool.

Things deteriorated so badly that I just stopped trying. I locked
myself in my room and ate only food that came pre-packaged (that I
had to hide behind all her science projects in the fridge so she and
her beau didn’t eat them). She started taking that out on me at work,
giving me less and less hours until I had to ask for help with rent
from my parents and look for another job.

After numerous calls to animal control and the apartment management,
who refused to do anything other than “warn” her, I realized I was
stuck. She then discontinued paying bills on time, citing “money
problems” – even though she still makes double-triple what my
now-husband does in the military. There was never a month where a
notice wasn’t posted on our door, or our electricity was shut off
(she only paid half the rent and electric, I paid everything else..
for an apartment I could barely live in). I even tried talking to the
store director about my hours, and he refused to help me out.

A customer ended up offering me a job. My last night working at
Failbucks, I left everything as clean as I possibly could and took
the good way out. However, after my shift L went in and made it look
like a tornado ripped through the place, causing me to get three
phonecalls at 5:30am the next day from the opening shift girl and two
general store managers, chewing me out. What. A. Bitch. A month after
I landed my new job (13 hour shifts and 3 hours of driving each day;
it was hard but at least I never saw L at home), I ended up in the
hospital because of L’s refusal to clean up any of her messes.

By the time our one-year lease was FINALLY up, she got one of our
best customers to come clean the place for only $40. Joke was on her
though, we lost our ENTIRE deposit and actually had to pay MORE. As
if all the insult and injury weren’t enough, she conveniently didn’t
pay her half of the remaining bill (even though she promised to),
changed her number so the apartment manager and I couldn’t contact
her, and stuck me with it. Moral of the story? NEVER live with your
boss, and ALWAYS be aware of who is touching your food.

A Little Yank Of The Wank

I work 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. at a law firm as a legal secretary.
Most days my boss expects me to stay late for 15 minutes or so if I
have to wrap up some things for the next day. Yesterday, he said
right on 5:30 on the dot, “Are you outta here?” and I replied yes,
grabbed my purse and ran out the door, glad to be finished on time
for once. About 2 miles down the road, while driving home, I
remembered that I forgot a bag of clothing I bought during lunchtime
under my desk and I turned my car around and headed back to the
office. I couldn’t have been gone for more than 5 or 6 minutes. When
I got back to the office, the front door was LOCKED (unusual). I put
my key in, pushed the door open, yelled my boss’ name and said, “Hey
it’s me, I forgot something, I’m back!!” All of a sudden I hear a
rustling in my boss’ office and he comes out of his room, adjusting
his pants and buckling his belt. I think I walked in on him having a
little personal “tug time” while watching porno on his office
computer! I almost died. No wonder he wanted me out of there so
quickly. I guess he needed a “release” as soon as possible! LMAO! No
wonder he was such a cranky bastard all day!

Everything Is Good

I was a low-level manager at THE most popular dine-in pizza
restaurant in the world for a few years. My “boss” at the time was a
fat lazy slob with a bad grill. There were many bad times, but one in
particular stands out to me.

It was a Friday night, which, if you have ever worked pizza, you know
is extremely busy and hectic. So I arrived for the start of my shift
like any other day and did my beginning of shift count. I asked as
always if ANYONE had called out so I would know to call someone in.
He said, “No everything is good”, and that he had even gone to the
trouble of doing the afternoon prep himself, and left the store
almost in mid-sentence.

As per usual on Friday nights, we were scheduled to have two shift
managers, and I was quite alarmed when my co-worker was 30 mins late
for her shift so I gave her a call on her cell. When she answered,
she was crying and I could barely understand her at first. She calmed
down and told me that she was in the hospital and had been involved in
a moderate impact car accident earlier in the day in which she
suffered some injuries that were going to keep her out of work for a
few days.

I asked her why she didn’t call in, and she sounded very surprised,
because she had called in around two hours before I arrived to begin
my shift. So I apologized and told her not to worry about it and that
I would take care of her shift.

As angry and manipulated as I felt, I tried to make it through an
extremely busy midsummer Friday night shift which just wasn’t working
as the night progressed. I had no one to call in except for “the boss”
so I did so, 3 times before he answered! I asked him why he lied to me
about my coworker’s car acccident and he said that he didn’t lie, he
just didn’t tell me about it becuase he thought I could handle it,
but he guessed he was wrong. So I told him to get his a@@ to his
store or I was going to leave it unattended. He said don’t I’m on my
way! and slammed down the phone.

When he arrived, we were way behind with angry customers behind the
counter and on the phone. He started making pizza and proceeded to
tell me to do my damn job. At this point I snapped, said lots of
words you are not supposed to, and threatened to leave unless I got
an apology right there in front of the entire frontline staff working
that night. He grudgingly did so and then took me aside and told me we
were going to have to have a talk about my attitude.

Shortly after this our district manager just happened to come by in
the middle of all this chaos, and when I explained to him that he
lied to me about the accident because he wanted to take off early for
the weekend and sacrificed his store’s night in the process, he told
me that he would be staying until it slowed down to have a little
chat w/ my boss.

He did so and I don’t know what was said, but afterward I got a real
(FORCED) apology and the next weekend off. It was the first time I’d
had a weekend off in almost a year! My boss may have sucked, but my
DM was great!

Yogurt Licker

I had a temporary supervisor who filled in while the “regular”
supervisor was off fighting in Iraq.

“The Big Dummy” as I called him regularly fell asleep at meetings;
even the meetings he was running. One time while the BD and I were meeting
with the CEO, I was talking face to face with the CEO in a conference
room and sitting behind and slightly left of the CEO was the BD. Yep,
he was drooling and head bobbing. I was nice about it and kicked the
table which roused the lad from slumberland.

One day, I looked in his office and he was eating yogurt. All of the
sudden, I heard a loud, “SHIT”. I looked in and saw him looking at a
sizeable glob of yogurt on his tie (important meeting coming up later
that day). Not long after that, I saw him pick his tie up and lick the
yogurt off.

Real class.