that's my boss
funny office storiessubmit your funny office storyabout thats my bossfaqscontact usrss feedfollow us on twitterfollow us on facebook

Animeals

My boss is some sort of sadistic asshole. He had a pet pig he brought
in every day. It was sweet like a dog. Very sociable. Loved to be
scratched and paid attention to. He called her Porkchop. Then he comes
in after a long weekend and gives everyone several pounds of freshly
butchered pork. I went home that night and threw up, I was so upset I
couldn’t even eat. I threw the meat away. Now he’s bringing in a baby
calf that he encourages to sleep in a corner all day, and he’s calling
her Veal Picatta.

38 Comments to Animeals

  1. First off, this story is as fake a stripper’s K-cup boobs.

    Secondly, ain’t nothing wrong with eating meat. I didn’t claw my way to the top of the damn food chain to eat vegetables. Those are what food eats.

    I’m proud to say I’m a member of PETA [People Eating Tasty Animals].

  2. Les Moore on February 5th, 2013
  3. You threw away perfectly good bacon, OP? Now who’s the asshole?

  4. The Oxford Comma on February 5th, 2013
  5. First lesson learned by many children growing up on a farm – never get attached to the animals – they’re not friends, they’re food.

  6. Trisha on February 5th, 2013
  7. Brought in a pig and now a calf? Did he just let them shit and piss everywhere?

  8. stupid on February 5th, 2013
  9. I used to own a pot bellied pig. My dad gave him away because my Mom’s freaky dog kept raping poor Piggy.

  10. Kate on February 5th, 2013
  11. seems like the dog had the social issues, not the pig…

  12. patricko on February 5th, 2013
  13. “The feminists will say `you can’t joke about rape. Rape’s not funny.’ I’ll prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.” — George Carlin

  14. Les Moore on February 5th, 2013
  15. FLUFFY!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  16. JD Storm on February 5th, 2013
  17. They say pigs are pretty close to humans when it comes to biology. Ever wonder what it would be like trying to procreate with a pig? Couldn’t be that bad, right?

  18. Disgusting Dan on February 5th, 2013
  19. I must lodge a formal complaint. I reckon I visit this world wide website free of charge with the idea that, like going to church, I will be entertained by stories which are entirely true. It appears that as of late, very few of these stories are real. As other commenters on this world wide website have stated, I come here to be entertained and I find it to be highly disappointing when the stories the administrators chose to post on their own website do not fit my entertainment bill. Shame on you, administrators, for not catering more to your customers’ needs!

  20. Walternate the Costco Fareweller on February 5th, 2013
  21. yes! shame on you! I’m going to demand a refund… wait…..

  22. patricko on February 5th, 2013
  23. My dear Walter, these stories are every bit as true as the people who comment on them. Take yourself, for example.

    That said, OP, if you don’t want the meat, don’t eat it, but to throw it away, now that’s a crime. Did throwing the meat away somehow bring lil’ porkchop back to life? No, so it was a pointless exercise.

  24. Sir JP on February 5th, 2013
  25. Well the dog was my Mom’s baby so when it came down to the pig or her dog. She thought the pig was asking for the rape lol

  26. Kate on February 5th, 2013
  27. By definition, if you ask for it, it’s not rape. (a few circumstances aside, of course).

  28. Sir JP on February 5th, 2013
  29. I’m pretty sure this story is totally fake. Therefore, I will refrain from being incensed by the shameless waste of food. If I thought it was real, I’d go off on a tirade about how many children go to bed hungry each night. But, I won’t. Because this story is fake.

  30. Barbara on February 5th, 2013
  31. This is a waste of food. People who go hungry die in a fortnight.

  32. Debbie Downer on February 5th, 2013
  33. i bought a whole butchered lamb from a friend one time and thank god i wasn’t a sissy crybaby because that was one good animal.

  34. joachim on February 5th, 2013
  35. Trisha, nice sentiment, but since the OP didn’t asay anything about being on a farm your comment is completely irrelevant. Try not to be such a dick. And I would rape an animal, if they deserved it. Or a woman because they mostly deserve it.

  36. Flip on February 5th, 2013
  37. Rape is no necessary. All woman want, all woman ask in politely. Is happy time Russia.

  38. Shirtless Vladimir Putin Horseback Riding on the Beach on February 5th, 2013
  39. Joachim you are one lucky bastard. I wish my friends would supply me with an entire lamb’s worth of meat. I’d live like a king for about 6 months.

  40. Les Moore on February 5th, 2013
  41. Fuck you, Flip. I hope you try to rape a woman you think deserves it, and she punches you in the balls until you pass out. I’d laugh.

    Story is BS. Funny, but BS.

  42. Zephyr Skunk on February 5th, 2013
  43. I had a friend that moved to the country and bought 3 calves to raise for food. She named them Bar, B and Q.

  44. Janada on February 5th, 2013
  45. I approve, Janada. I’m not the official welcome wagon (I don’t think we have one) but welcome to the insanity that is the That’s My Boss comments section. Expect several one-trick ponies roleplaying one-dimensional personae and lots of off-topic arguing, calling the OP a liar, calling each other liars, etc. In short, more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.

  46. Zephyr Skunk on February 5th, 2013
  47. Zeph, she was a regular here before you were.

  48. The Oxford Comma on February 5th, 2013
  49. Oh, really? Well, then, my apologies.

  50. Zephyr Skunk on February 5th, 2013
  51. Yeah, I think even what’s his name…DooDooFace? DDF, yeah, I think DDF was fond of Janada.

  52. stupid on February 5th, 2013
  53. Well, if the first Janada post I’ve seen is any indication, she’s not a jerk like DDF tended to be.

  54. Zephyr Skunk on February 5th, 2013
  55. les, yeah it was 40 pounds of meat and he only charged me 100 bucks. i feel sorry for vegertarians who are to girly to enjoy meat.

  56. Joachim on February 5th, 2013
  57. Decaying meat smells really gross.

  58. Casey Anthony on February 5th, 2013
  59. oh and also i had a friend that had dogs that slept outside. this was when i lived in idaho. and he swore that every winter he would kill one and butcher it. i never ate it but he said it wasnt bad and it wasnt like he treated them like pets anyhow. he didn’t like them, except to eat i guess.

  60. Joachim on February 5th, 2013
  61. Oh Dear, Casey Anthony. I’ve heard you were looking for employment but I can assure you I wouldn’t give a tuppence for someone with no more sense than to bury their garbage upwind. You may find your unemployed status unchanged for a good long time.

  62. Matilda Dubbins on February 5th, 2013
  63. I had a friend that had a fake Ravens tattoo on his face last Sunday and I punched him and his wife to the floor. Then I left. Fucking idiots.

  64. Mr X on February 5th, 2013
  65. Then you shouldn’t have started the process, Cacey! Joachim, you got lucky. Mmm, lamb. Had some BBQed on Sunday at a friend’s house.

  66. Zephyr Skunk on February 5th, 2013
  67. Me too, Joachim. Tonight for dinner I’m going to whip yup a batch of my Blue Cheesburgers and have one for dinner tonight, one for lunch tomorrow and one for dinner tomorrow.

  68. Les Moore on February 5th, 2013
  69. I rarely find an opportunity to agree with Joachim, but I do love me some lamb! Yum! And $2.50 per pound is a fantastic deal! Good for you, Joachim.

  70. Barbara on February 6th, 2013
  71. Sounds like a pretty cool boss

  72. NotSure on February 6th, 2013
  73. Why all the hate on vegetarians?

    And Casey…. there will always be jobs available in the hospitality field.

    You might want to start getting used to the idea.

    Or change your name, get new id and new soc#, and you might find a place somewhere that you won’t be recognized, and a girl with your smarts.. can be up-selling fry orders in no time.

  74. patricko on February 6th, 2013
  75. Where did you think meat came from, OP? Did you think they just mix it up in the back of the supermarket?

  76. Ugnaught on February 6th, 2013

Leave a comment

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Three Ring Blogs  

© Copyright 2011 Thats My Boss
home | submit | about | faq | terms of use | privacy policy | contact us | advertise on our blog network

Myrtle Beach Web Design by Three Ring Focus

Three Ring Blog Network