Wasting Away

This is a regular occurrence at my office: My boss will give me a 30
minute lecture about efficiency and not wasting time. During the
entire speech, I have to give her my undivided attention and I’m
thinking “This is the most inefficient thing I could be doing right
now.” She always ends it with “…and we don’t need to interrupt
each other and stay focused.” She interrupted me to give the speech
about efficiency. Walking and talking contradiction.

It’s A Boy!

After having a miscarriage, I got pregnant again very quickly. My
husband and I were hesitant to tell anyone, so we just told family
and very close friends.

After the reassuring ultrasounds etc., I decided it was time to let
my boss know. With a reserved smile, I said, “So, I am pregnant!”

She said, “Oh, have you shared this with your family?”

I’m thinking, “No. I just peed on the stick. You’re the first to
know…idiot.”

Transferring Funds

I work for a small firm, so my boss thinks he’s more of a friend or
mentor than a boss at times. One day I was telling him about some friends
who were going through a tough financial time. To which he told me:
“It’s people like that [who can't pay their bills] that caused these
financial problems in this country. I mean, if I can’t pay a bill, I
just transfer money from my other account.”

I could only stare, before walking out of the room.

HNIC

I had a manager that was a black man who largely touted himself as
the ‘HNIC’. I asked what that meant, and he replied, without
hesitation, “Head N—er In Charge.”
Two months later, during a break, the manager had a picture up on his
computer from a news article about a sports team with a guy that had
painted his face blue. In a sad attempt at cheesy humor, I said “Wow
that guy looks blue in the face.”

He wrote me up and suspended me for 3 days for making racist
statements against black people.