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I’m Sure That’s Why You Go To Gay Bars
On Friday nights my friends and I like to go to the gay bars to go
queer baiting. Last Friday we were just starting the fun when my boss
walked in wearing a pair of chaps, a vest with no shirt on, a fake
mustache, and a black cowboy hat. He looked like one of the Village
People. We snuck out the back, now I can’t even look him in the eye. I
guess we have to find a new Friday night activity…
103 Comments to I’m Sure That’s Why You Go To Gay Bars
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Why did you leave? It’s obvious that the boss doesn’t care who sees him if he’s going out in public like that. Just come out of the closet yourself OP.
i can enjoy a frantic chorus of homosexua|s merrily dancing to “it’s raining men.” its just one of those magical moments when the whole world seems happy.
Queer baiting? I don’t remember purchasing a ticket to take me back to 1975…
Queer baiting? What is that? Is it like masturbating?
Is that where the “queers” masterbait on each other’s faces? Sounds yummy. I do love a hairless Frank
What is that, exactly?
Hopefully another fake story, otherwise the mods are intentionally printing homophobic rants.
Queer baiting is an odd phenomena whereby a heterosexual male with extreme need for an ego boost will go to gay bar’s, thinking he’s “all that” and try to induce the homosexual’s into feigning lust over them, thus inflating his ego and making himself feel like a stud. What a fucking idiot. So smurf, I imagine it is some form of masterbation. This idiot most likely goes home and rub’s one out thinking of the boys he was teasing at the bar.
I love “it’s raining men”! OP, could I get the bosses phone number?
Dicky, unless you are talking about fishing, it’s masterbate. Does anyone even say queer these days?
Queer baiting sounds like a bad porno lol. As far as you go op your gay and your boss is gay who cares. This story is so bs. Go have butt sex with your queer boss gay boy!
OP, you could always go to a DIFFERENT BAR…
My cousin and I used to to go to clubs every Friday to hit on girls. If we had no luck, there was this one gay bar in the Castro we’d go to [walk in holding hands, pretending to be a couple] to drown our misfortune with a few beers. Since about half the time we both struck out, it got to the point where the bartender would see us enter and have our beers ready by the time we sat down, and some of the regulars knew us by name.
No sh*t sherlock. It was intentional as the OP was “queer BAITING”
But hey thanks for the spelling lesson! Stick to playing with Walt’s balls and you’ll be fine. Try not to over think these things!
Last Archimedean: you DO realize they serve beer in most bars, right? You didn’t need to go to the gay bar for beer.
Or, does the story really go-we struck out with the ladies, let’s try the ‘fellas’.
Urban I never heard of that before. My question is if the op is so straight why is he trying to pick up gay dudes.
kate, that’s a good question. i don’t think he’s trying to pick them up as much as he’s out being a kock tease…. and stroking his own (ego).
Quite so, OP. While I can fully understand why you have trouble looking your boss in the eye, you might also think of what he thinks of you. He obviously knows that you frequent such establishments, and was very likely dressing up so that he could spy on your activities while you did not recognize him, hoping to save you from your sins.
I think you should seek counsel with your pastor in order to resolve your tormented soul.
Walt’s balls are probably all shriveled up. Like little raisins.
What I don’t understand is why none of you idiots can spell MASTURBATE properly.
hahahahahahahahahahaha! Oops…
op sounds like a complete dildo. queer baiting??? really???
This whole story appals me. Absolutely unacceptable. Going to bars that harbor unspeakable things, drinking the devil’s urine. You all are going to have an awful time in the afterlife if you continue to go down the path of sins.
At least your boss is honest with himself unlike you. Your need for validation is sad. Hopefully you’ll come out eventually and you and your boss will both be happier for it.
All I gotta do to bait queers is hang a pack of smokes out the bars of my cell. They come running and unbuckling their belts.
I’ve gotten pretty good at ass rape, here in the joint. If these white boys ever come in here I’ll shove my c*ck in their ass, flex it and listen to their hips dislocate.
Fake moustache, really? More like fake story.
Call me nutso, but when I went to bars it was for chick baiting.
this story is either complete bullshit or the OP has some serious issues. this isn’t normally something i’d recommend, but maybe the OP and his buddies should consider doing something constructive with their time……like join a church. you could sure use all the help you can get.
There is nothing good that can come of frequenting a bar. I met my wife in a good, old fashioned way – at church. You people should heed my advice and do the same.
Walternator, gotta quote Benjamin Franklin here: “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Oxford Comma, you assume Walt has them in the first place.
If this story is real, OP, first of all you sound like an asshole. Queer-baiting usually also involves ending up telling the gay guys they’re hitting on a straight guy and that they’re failures; half the “fun” is getting to humiliate people. ‘Course, I go to gay bars (cuz, well, I’m gay) and don’t hit on anybody.
If this IS true AND OP is just looking for an ego boost, go to a straight bar and pretend to be a gay couple. The girls will be all over you. The same way straight guys often seem to find lesbians hot, loads of straight girls find gay guys hot. Just pretend you’re actually bisexual but straight-leaning, and pair off with some hot, horny girls.
Oh, and… “devil’s urine”?? That must be slang for Bud Light.
Walternator, I find this story highly offensive as well. I met my lady friend at church! I am laughing! We have so much in common, my friend!
LOL! OMG, I met a guy at a bar last night! He told me he had a pearskin rug! I was all, what? A pearskin rug? What a fruit! LOL!
i find it easier to pick up chicks at straight, err…regular bars. girls that go to gay bars have no agenda to get laid.
DDF, why are you being such a bitch? i can master my bate if with lots of practice. ZS, you are sooooo right about chicks throughing themselves at the gay guys. I can’t go a day with out a hottie trying to take on the challenge. They never win. If only kate would give me a little more attention, I’d let her have her way with me. I think she’s hot, love the way she talks so nasty. She actually asked me a question this morning. The first time she ever gave me an indication that she knew I existed.
I think that Zephyr Skunk is actually Urban Possum pretending to be someone else! I cannot believe that we possibly have two homosexuals lurking among us with silly rodent names!
That is an astute observation, Walternator. Perhaps we should consider rounding them all up and forming a prayer circle around them. We can pray the gay away!
Urban the op must be really pathetic to need an ego boost from a gay guy or secretly gay. :p
Walternate, you once mentioned that you decided to be straight long ago; if people are born straight, would this statement indicate that you tried the gay way at one point?
Sorry, not urbanpossum. Nor are we named for rodents. Skunks are mephitidae, and possums are marsupials. Get your critters right.
Of course I did not try being gay! Heavens to Betsy, what an inappropriate question!
I’m glad the wikipedia website is working for you this morning, Zephyr skunk. Thank you for sharing that bit of internet-obtained knowledge with me.
Perhaps yourself and Urban Possum, assuming you are not SINNING by lying to me, should exchange photographs on the facebook page. You seem to have a lot in common, it could be a very promising male companionship in the making.
The opposite of being gay is being straight.
The opposite of using drugs is not using drugs.
Because Walter decided to be straight doesn’t mean he would have had to dabble with being gay. Take my drug reference, for example. If you decide to not use drugs, that doesn’t mean you have tried it before.
Kate, some people will take an ego boost from anywhere they can get it. LOL….
Walterbate…. I am laughing out loud and rolling on the floor you rascal. I was rather suprised when I saw this Zephyr Skunk show up to the scene the other day and further surprised to find that he is a homosexual like me. Who would have thunk? Huh. I know you all think all the gays know each other but as Zeph pointed out, he is a hermaphrodite (or something like that) and I am a marsupial. We obviously run in different circles.
You Zeph, we should get together for a drink or something. Perhaps in a gay bar!
Walternator, I am a bit offended that you are trying to aid these gentlemen in their sinful endeavors. I have befriended Urbanpossum on The Facebook in the hopes of praying the gay away. We have exchanged numerous messages and I have worked diligently to direct his misguided conversations in a less blasphemous direction. Another of his friends has friended me, as I believe she supports my efforts.
Walterbater…. Are you trying to fix us up? It seems out of character that you would participate in such ungodly actions.
In response to Captain Obvious, my cousin and I [a] liked the quality of beer at this establishment, [b] liked pretending to be a couple [of course, none of the regulars thought we were -- their gaydar told them we were straight] and [c] after being shot down by women, we wanted to get away from places that housed the double-X-chromosome variety of human. Seeing more women would just make the night worse since we already were having our egos stung by being rejected by at least 30 — each.
That was Walternator, NOT ME, and I do not approve of such things! However, I would befriend Zephyr Skunk if he were to send me a friend request on The Facebook. I have hope that I can save you all, even if you wait until your deathbed to ask for forgiveness and welcome Jesus as your Lord and savior.
Archi…. why so defensive… there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Embrace yourself (figuratively, not literally).
Seriously, Archie? Do you like when someone abuses you? You make it so easy for her to beat you up! Just wait, someone is going to say something…
Nothing wrong with gay guys I’m a gay guy in a girl’s body.
Buckster, I said what I meant. Walt assumes that you are born straight, and the only choice is if you choose to be gay – there’s no need to choose to be straight if you already are. Thus, saying that “long ago, I made the choice to be straight” hints otherwise, even though I doubt he meant it that way.
Walt and Walt, I accepted Jesus Christ as MY Lord and Saviour in 2002, after exploring many other faiths and deciding that that was the choice for me. And I’d love to meet urbanpossum for a drink, though – no offense, ‘possum – we won’t be shacking up. Though I’m sure you won’t believe this, either of you, I’m in a long-term relationship and may stay with this person for life. Though we cannot make children, there are already hundreds of thousands of children up for adoption all over the world, so we’d rather help alleviate that problem that bring in some more.
I couldn’t find you on Facebook, Walt – I only found fan accounts of television program “The Fringe” in which ‘Walternate’ is the nickname for one of the characters.
Buckster, awesome comment.
Going to gay bars is fine, unless you are doing it for the zoological safari experience of watching a different class of people and poking at them with various mental experiences.
And OP, you can’t know if it was your boss your not until you spoke with the person. We all have our doppelgangers.
i <3 gay bars. they're the best and no(t many) people try to feel me up.
We were young and crazy, what can I say? That was half a lifetime ago.
Now that I’m pushing 40 and my girlfriend is middle-aged, those days seem insane. But when you’re barely old enough to drink, the club scene is exciting…
Zeph, no offense taken, I have my site set on kate. I think she’s sexy as hell. go to thats my boss on facebook and you can find a few of us there…. walt is there is all his glory. So am I.
Maybe I should start going to church; I would love to meet a nice girl!
Zephyr, for someone that eludes intelligence, you are awfully silly. Our name is Walter, not Walternate and Walternator, that would be ridiculous!
Walternate, I am not supporting them, merely stating that they should explore a male friendship without any sexual connotations. Perhaps they would change their thought process.
Kate, in my opinion, you are a lower-level human being due to your evident lack of brain cells. This is nothing to be ashamed of. I would recommend that you thoroughly think about what you are typing before you actually type, because most of the drivel you share with us causes me to believe that you might be slow.
Archimedean. You’ve really outed yourself out as a curious pussy. After getting turned down, you hide from women in gay bars because of the “quality of beer”? What complete and utter BS!
It was my cousin’s idea.
Makes perfect sense… after being shot down by umpteen women in a 2-3 hour span [and bitch-slapped by some of them who didn't like being asked for their phone numbers or email addresses] the last place you’d want to be is around more women! I was perfectly happy to be in a woman-free environment for a few hours to cool off and get rid of my building anger against the members of the fair sex for rejecting me.
Then we’d go back to the clubs the next Friday and try again, because hope springs eternal, and about half the time one of us *would* actually score.
I <3 gays… I once asked a guy at the bar if he was gay and he started flipping out on me… He told me I was "primative" for asking… I said, "oh jeez I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were still in the closet. But your bitch fit ain't helping you look straight.."
I like to go Gingerbating…
And DDF, my love, I was going to smack OC for her mistake as well.. good form.
gingerbating. LOL.
Found your Facebook page, Walter. Is that really a photo of you? Is Walternator on Facebook as well? And…what kind of farming did you do? Walternator, I called you Walternator because it’s the nick you use; I assumed your name was actually Walt or Walter. And I have an IQ of 135, thankyouverymuch, and read a great deal more than I watch the drivel that is television; I take my intelligence as seriously as I can. Helps in my job, too, at which I need to know historical information, sometimes in great detail.
My Facebook page has my given name (Jonas Clark – look me up) and is mostly devoted to one of my hobby projects. Facebook isn’t a big social thing for me; most of the friends I spend time with are local to me. Zephyr Skunk is a name I use partly because – amazingly – people can remember it. No one remembers Jonas, they always end up calling me Jonah or Jay or Jason or Joshua. Clark is not exactly my full surname, but it’s my mother’s surname.
And… Gingerbating. I needed a chuckle. I don’t go to gay bars much any more; I’m not a big fan of the crowd whose main goal of going there is to find a f**kbuddy for the night. I’d take a good LTR any day. The bars i go to these days all involve customers who enjoy intellectual conversation with people sitting beside them and bartenders who can almost be compared to alchemists. They usually carry five or six seasonal beers, some wine, and about three hundred varieties of liquor, and make drinks intended to be enjoyed rather than swallowed in one go in order to get you hammered.
And before either Water comments on that– I’d be honestly surprised if God objected to drinking in total. I don’t KNOW, of course, but the way I understand it is that the sins are about doing anything top excess, or allowing it to take over your life and damage things such as your work, your relationships with others and your faith.
Wasn’t Jesus all about turning water to wine? Ain’t there a passage that says “smoke my herbs and drink my wine”???
And technically, as done properly, the Eucharist/Communion requires actual wine. Meaning it contains alcohol. Of course, one takes only a sip from the chalice, but were it an evil completely it would not be done.
Walter (the Costco Walter) why do you list the film “Ma Mere” as one you enjoy? You DO know what “Ma Mere” is about…?
Lord Walterbate, that is practically just shy of pornography. I will pray for you if I ever decide to go to synagogue!
I do not know what that is, I do not watch movies. Perhaps someone has logged into my account and committed shenanigans.
always looking for a scapegoat, walter.
by the way, i’ve wnated to say this to you for a long time now…let ye who is without sin cast the first stone.
now…what are your views on lesbians, walter? what if one stays at home and cooks and cleans while the other is a secretary?
Then you’ll want to log into your account and remove it post-haste. You listed it under “people I love” and Ma Mere does mean “my mother,” but Ma Here is a foreign film about a son whose love for his own mother blossoms into an incestuous sexual relationship with her.
May-un!
When I read this one, I thought you guys would kind of like it.
I mean, really…for once, a STORY that was written by a troll!
It’s funny in that it’s a troll post. But then, many of the regulars here accuse every story of being fake, so that’s not saying much.
Actually, there’s a gay leather bar here in town. I took a buddy there once as he was looking for that type, and I saw that they have one of those “Tom of Finland” guys (hairy chest, open vest, leather thing and chaps, big beard and mustache, policeman’s hat) painted on the wall just inside the door. I don’t hang out there, not at all the BDSM type, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some idiot did walk in there dressed like that – and get laughed right out the door again. That place is the sort where you walk in the door and all the occupants look up at once, with expressions that clearly say, “…you’re not one of US… How dare you!”
For once, psych? Id say about 90% of the stories are written by trolls…
That’s actually possible, Suze’s Face, but then I’ve seen evidence of some really implausible stuff. This story likely IS fake.
Yes.. this story is fake…
Now that I think about it, I may have clicked on it because I hold my mother in high esteem. Someone, your question puzzles me because the Bible only seems to forbid men from having homosexual relationships. However, I do not see how it could work to have two women in such a relationship as they would both be home cooking and cleaning all the time. Who would work outside the home? Furthermore, they would not be able to make children.
well duh, Wally… the Bible was written by men.. and some men love watching two chicks getting it on…
walter maybe both women are welfare recipents and benefit from other forms of social welfare…
…just saying.
ha everyone, walter approves of my lifstyle.
*rolls eyes at responding to a troll, but does it anyway* Women CAN work outside the home, Walter, as my mother did so for most of my life – and she STILL cooked and cleaned. But then, my dad cooked and cleaned, too, as did I when I was old enough.
That’s akin to saying, “How could a woman be the leader of a country?” It doesn’t usually occur, but it CAN; Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister of Britain for a long time. I am laughing, Walt, you are so silly sometimes!
Zephyr Skunk, everyone knows that the US really controls Great Britain. Margaret Thatcher was a proxy and their Royalty are nothing more than traditional figure heads.
Thanks, donkey puncher, I needed to LOL today.
I do have a Facebook account, my son made it for me. My name is Walter Smith and I reside in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. We had a large farm. Corn, potatoes, barley, cows, and pigs. It belonged to my Pa before me and his Pa before him. I’ve recently been telling my Facebook friends, of which I have over 170, about an eggplant fiasco at Albertson’s. Laugh out loud!!
I would argue that most of the stories here are FAKES, but not TROLLS.
The difference being that TROLLS write something deliberately inflammatory in order to get people to respond with outrage.
FAKES just try to get people to believe their fantasies.
We raised chickens and goats mostly. As for produce, we grow just enough for ourselves and avoid those things shaped as genitals and mammary glands.
Oh…at least Donkey got it right about the British Royalty.
Thanks, Donkey, for outing one of the most well publicized and commonlly known “secrets” in the world.
Gonna enlighten us all on how Bogie never said “Play it again, Sam” next?
I don’t think the intent of this story was to get people upset. It seems to me that it was written for people to make fun of the OP and intolerant people. I don’t know how anyone could read this and be seriously offended, seeing as how the OP appears to be the butt of the joke. But hey, I didn’t write it so what do I know…
Well, you just did, psych. He actually said, “You know what I want to hear.”
Really? I figured the OP was trying to get people up in arms because of his “queer baiting” and making fun of the gay boss (with a reallly overblown stereotype – like all gay men are village people or Freddy Murcury clones).
But, OP making fun of himself? OK, whatever.
Hit submit early by mistake. He then says “PLAY IT, Sam!”
My point was that you were telling the obvious. The royal family hasn’t really even kept up a pretense of being actually in power for generations. They are admitted figureheads.
Just like everyone already knows Bogie never said, “Play it again, Sam.” Get it?
Naah, I’m not offended. I doubt this’d offend many people.
Is that some chapter in the Bible that I missed, Walter? Thou shalt not grow nor consume anything which resembles genitalia or breasts, for it is surely an abomination unto thee? I eat sausage for breakfast, and it never really makes me go, “Hey, this really makes me want to go suck a dick!”
My point was to keep on telling the obvious, to annoy you. Dumbass.
i like waffles…especially when covered with sticky syrup.
No, the OP is a troll. I’m saying the intent of the OP, it seems, was to poke fun at intolerance. It doesn’t sound like a story to get people riled up about gays.
Mmm. Waffles with syrup. Wait, Walt doesn’t eat waffles? How on earth do waffles resemble genitalia!?
…unless you’re eating the infamous cockwaffle.
I thought it was a story to get people riled up about intolerance.
Ya know, kinda like the Walters?
But it’s so over the top. I dunno, maybe that’s just what trolling is all about. Maybe I don’t really “get” trolls.
This story is not a trolling attempt. Usually, the way one trolls is by saying or doing something calculated to piss people off. Can be simple or complicated. Usually, trolls consider just posting an auto-win. If you get mad, they won. If you keep mum, “I chased you off, ha ha.”
And I don’t ‘get’ trolls either. I mean, I get the concept, I just don’t see how it’s so endlessly entertaining. Trolls are as over-the-top as they have to be in order to piss you off.
Agreed that this was just intended to poke fun at intolerance, which IS funny, though they were going at it from the opposite angle that I like: “Hey, we like to go out to bars and string along queers but, oh shit, I guess our boss is a fag, and a dumb fag at that! Guess we getter move on before he figgers out we like to screw with ‘em!”
A troll is a troll, and a roll is a roll… If we ain’t got no trolls we don’t get no rolls…
I’m not a troll. Trolls live under bridges and eat small children. :p
how do we know you don’t eat small children?
small children are high in fat and I’m trying to lose weight.
Children in Africa aren’t high in fat.
Kate, every time you speak, my soul aches. Please review the bible, particularly the entire book of Genesis. They do have Children’s editions available, if they are more your level.
Me thinks OP is in the closet.