My boss is totally obsessed with his car. It’s a 1967 cherry red
Mustang convertible. Beautiful car, but still just a car. He carries
around a tube of touch-up paint with him just in case. He parks
diagnolly in the wrong direction in a parking lot so no one will park
near him. He washes the thing by hand three times a week and praises
Vince for the Sham-Wow because he thinks it is the best thing ever for
his car. He does most of the engine work on his own because he really
doesn’t trust anyone else to touch his car, at least for the most
part. No one else is allowed to drive the car, and he only allows
passengers if they sign an agreement to be responsible for the
cleaning charges if they get the interior dirty. No drinks or food of
any kind are allowed. No children, dogs, smoking, or packing peanuts.
I could go on about all his rules, but I think you get the point.
Anyhow the engine started making a knocking noise and he couldn’t
figure out what was wrong. He dropped the car with a mechanic (he
required three references before he would take the car in) just before
he left on a week-long vacation to the Bahamas. On his second day of
the vacation, we decided to play a little prank on the boss. We sent
him a text that said, “OMG! THE MECHANIC JUST CALLED. HE ACCIDENTALLY
TOTALED YOUR CAR!” The boss didn’t see the message until after we were gone
for the day, and I didn’t realize my phone was completely out of juice
so I missed the 4 texts and 3 voicemails he left me that night. The
next day when we all got to work, about 5 minutes after 8 the boss
EXPLODES through the doors. He came back early from his vacation
because he thought the mechanic fucked up his car. Needless to say, he
was not very happy. He suspended me for two days, but it’s all good
cause I pissed on the covertible top on his car. He who laughs last,
sucker.
you’re lucky you only got suspended for a couple of days.
This is a dooshbag employee story, not really a boss story.
The only issue I have with your boss is the parking the wrong way in parking lots and taking up extra spaces. I usually reach for my sharpest key when I see someone parked like that. I hate parking hogs.
YOU, on the other hand… that was very scummy to do that. If I was the boss you’d be either demoted or fired.
Dumbfucker admins fucked up the story. The text said: “OMG! THE MECHANIC JUST CALLED. HE ACCIDENTALLY YOUR CAR!” Know your memes!
You’re an asshole. You intentionally ruin another person’s vacation for shits and giggles. I would have fired you on the spot for fraud, sued you for my travel costs, and would have called the police and attorney general for federal wire fraud.
Oh, and I hope the boss sees this. It will add well to his circumstantial evidence that you acted intentionally to effectuate a materially false statement, and caused another to act in a way they would have not acted but for the materially false statement.
Fraud, t-rex? Seriously? Jesus, you are far too tightly wound. Even if his car was totalled, how was coming back early going to help? Also, if that really is the OP, it’s a lot funnier that way.
That doesn’t matter. What matters is that he wouldn’t have purchased a new ticket, and flown back if he hadn’t received the text. It’s also not being tightly wound, it’s realizing that a crime as old as the Brits is a crime for a reason.
It’s all fun and games until someone loses a nut.
Also, I empathize for that poor boss. To have a dick-head of an employee pull the one thing that would stress him out, and pull him from a relaxing vacation. People go on vacations to get away from work. Not to be harassed by work.
Sounds like we could all use a good joke. Everyone seems to be stressed today.
After God finishes creating the Heavens, the Earth, the plants, the animals, Adam, Eve — the works — he’s standing there observing it all when the angel Gabriel wanders by for a gab.
“You know, sir,” Gabriel says, “that’s quite some job you did on all this.”
God ambles over to His throne and settles in. “Thanks, Gabe.”
“Yep,” Gabriel continues. “All those animals, the new creatures in your form, the beautiful scenery. But the most impressive of all is thos alternating periods of light and darkness every 24 hours. So what are you going to do now?”
God assumes a relaxed position, leans back, and half-closes His eyes. “I think I’ll call it a day.”
It’s a practical joke, not a crime. And yes, you are tightly wound. Pop a piece of coal up your ass, in a week you’ll have a diamond. You could be rich.
the only complaint i have with the boss is his parking. don’t want anyone messing with the car? drive another car. clearly he can afford it, considering he can drive around an excellent ’67 Mustang.
as for the OP, you’re a douche canoe. if i was the boss, i would’ve fired your ass over this.
It’s dumb when admins add in words and edit a story that changes certain aspects of it.
I think if someone told me a mechanic accidentally my car and I was on vacation, I wouldn’t rush back. I’d probably be worried at first, but then I’d see the joke.
Also, why is everyone so attached to their material items. Even if his car was totalled, there are other cherry red ’67 mustangs on the used car market in excellent condition. Sure I’d be sad if I had a car that was wrecked, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
I empathize for a guy who probably dropped a couple of grand, lost the rest of his vacation rest, and had emotional harm because of another’s idiotic scheme, and I’m tightly wound?
I get that you don’t care because this wasn’t you, but I think you could empathize for people just a little more.
What occurred in this story is highly inappropriate. Such shenanigans have no place at work. It sounds to me as though all of the actors involved are in need of spiritual guidance.
I’m not sure i should take this story at face value as it has some undertones of falsity.
However, T-Rex, I’ll gotta tell you that the way you are going off spouting legal jargon is a perfect example of behavior that caused your peers to eschew your company in the sandbox as a child and why conversations involving laughter suddenly go silent at your approach.
You can be the smartest person in the room, but you’re stupid if you let everyone else know it.
T-Rex…calm down. OP sounds like an asshole. So does the boss. There was no crime. Seriously. Dick move? Yes. Crime? No.
Now that I have read all of these comments, I must impart a small piece of advice unto T-Rex which a kind individual once shared with me: STFU.
Crime yes.
Unfortunately, there is no “it was just a joke” defense when it comes to crimes.
I empathize greatly with the personal misfortunes of others. But seriously, it’s just a car. It can be replaced.
Whoa! Did Walter just say that?
You are in for a rude awakening if you think every practical joke is a crime. OMG, once I exaggerated something about myself online. FUCK! I COMMITTED FRAUD! Are you going to prosecute me, T-Rex?
One time, an old co-worker of mine made the attorney upstairs think his copier was broken when he had a Supreme Court brief due. Was it over the top? Yes. Was he kind of an asshole for doing so? Yes. Was it a crime? No.
Exaggerations aren’t fraud.
But, what OP did wasn’t an exaggeration. It was a bold-faced lie!
Rex you may be correct on some of the points, I’ve not been attending law school so cannot support nor correct your viewpoint.
In a bit more casual way of stating it, I DO hope that there’s greater recourse for the boss, toward the employee, than a simple suspension.
reimbursement of cost of cutting his vacation short, at the very least. cancellation fees, cost of changing flights, etc etc etc.
Just because he may be able to afford it, doesn’t mean he should have to.
the OP, if this story isn’t complete horse shit, took the one thing he knew the boss cared about above all else, and used it maliciously.
I don’t understand the car-as-baby mentality, but the boss has it for whatever reason, and it would be like getting a text that the vet fucked up and your dog died at the kennel…
But the boss does park like a doosh, and that’s not cool…
Besides, where are you going to draw the line, “but it was only out of fun!”
So, what if you were told your car was struck outside, and the person fled? Well, they were only having fun. You wouldn’t look into it at all? After all, it’s only property. It’s not like insurance companies don’t require police reports.
Or, what if you were told that your house was broken into by someone? You wouldn’t try to find out what happened? After all, it’s only property. You can really report those serial numbers to your laptop and tv later.
Seriously, T-Rex. You think every time someone tells a lie that it’s a crime? Did you try to get Aston Kutcher arrested for his show Punk’d? Do you think the audience should be arrested as accomplices? On reality shows, the producers use a lot of editing to make things appear very different from what they are. Should they be arrested? What you are saying it that every single time you tell a lie and it causes someone to act, it is a crime. It makes you an asshole, not a criminal, and there is a difference.
Mr. Hitler, STFU is a polite way of telling someone to quiet themselves. It is an acronym which stands for Sanctimonious Tirades Frequently Unappreciated. I reckon T-Rex would feel better if she would STFU and FAP. Further, as I believe she is a married woman, she should quit this nonsense of attempting to become a lawyer and instead worry her pretty little head about keeping her husband happy and bearing his children. Home and hearth are your place, T-Rex, leave your husband to earn a living for you and your family. To do otherwise would be an insult to his manhood, a sort of figurative castration. Do you wish to castrate your husband?
Why is pick on lady dinosaur? Maybe all need is good ride. Horse is strong to carry, good ride, hard ride.
It depends on the results of the lie. There are lies that are so bad, like this one, that it really fucks up someone’s time.
I get it, you don’t care about other people who are lied to. I do.
lol Yes, you are a better person than me. I am pretty sure everyone here could agree with that. I am very selfish and unfeeling.
On this you are! And you don’t see it. You don’t seem to care as long as you are getting a laugh out of it.
I never said I was better. I just said you are a little more fucked up than me.
That’s exactly what you said. YOU RUINED MY DAY! RUINER!
Yeah, I guess if I know something isn’t a crime but still believe someone is an asshole, that makes me a fucked up human being. You are going to win EVERY ARGUMENT with that logic.
No, you don’t comprehend that assholes do commit crimes by lying!
This is a lie that falls into the crime category!
From what I’ve seen, you’ve got a better chance of getting your car keyed if you take up two spots by someone pissed off enough to spite you than if you just take your chances parking like a normal person.
Ever heard of a Venn diagram? Not all liars are criminals. Not all sex is rape. Not all punches are battery. Not everything that stinks is shit.
There’s not much that would bring me back from my vacation early and certainly not suspected damage to my car. The employees may have been stupid and childish for their prank but it also sounds like the boss is wound a little too tight.
Yes, but you seem to be blind to the fact that the venn diagram of criminals and liars overlaps with a boldface OP’S STORY in the middle of it!
I don’t disagree with you that not all lies are criminal. I disagree that OP’s lie is not criminal. If we draw out to your conclusion, then criminal and lies would NEVER overlap!
i really dont care about this story cause it sounds like bullshit to me and its funny also. but i always could tell that trex is the type of chick that i would have liked to rape back in the day. sometimes thats all it takes to shut them up for awhile.
Good luck, T-Rex. I think you need it.
Joachim, you’re as bad ass as a 5’02 skinny, pimply, 16 yo white boy.
See, even Trisha wouldn’t return from her vacation because of her car and I disagree with her on mostly everything.
If my home was broken into, yes I’d look into it. Because it’s my home and I would want to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. But an accident happening to my car that is totally out of my control and not a result of negligence? Ok, well the mechanic owes me a free fix-up
And by the way, “Fraud consists of some deceitful practice or willful device, resorted to with intent to deprive another of his right, or in some manner to do him an injury.”
I’m taking off, enjoy the freakin’ sunshine peeps.
Yes, look to the intent, T-Rex. Their intent was to rile him up, not to make him incur the expense of coming home. Pushing someone’s buttons doesn’t constitute an injury. THEY ARE LACKING MENS REA! Isn’t that a pretty fundamental concept, like one of the first things they teach you in law school?
Here the intent was to create emotional harm. The intent to cause one harm carries over to all other harms that are created with an action.
Meaning, if you intend to throw a baseball at your husband’s head, but it hit’s your neighbor’s head, you still had the intent required to hit your neighbor intentionally.
So, OP meant to give the boss a really hard emotional time while boss was on vacation, OP is liable for the rest of what happened.
Peace out. I intend to go have a nice day. If I happen to have a great day, then it’s because of me!
Hurting someone’s feelings isn’t a crime. Jesus, you’re really going to keep trying?
Will someone please surgically remove the stick from up T-rex’s ass? s/he is getting to be an annoying twatwaffle today!
I used to own a 66 mustang. I cried like a baby the day I sold it. It takes another mustang owner to understand.
Oxford, the guy PISSED on the boss’ T-TOP. There was a crime committed in the end.
The rest of it was just dick moves. Yeah, the boss sounds pretty wound-up, but those were still dick moves. I have an acquaintance who liked to pick up and handle objects in my collection, particularly the more fragile ones (anyone who’s seen my Facebook pictures has an idea) because it’d “rattle my cage” (his term) and he found that funny. I finally put a stop to that: when he commented that he was ‘careful’ and that if anything really went wrong, he’d replace it, I said, “What if it cannot be replaced at all? Many things here, you can’t just pop on eBay and buy another. I feel lucky to have found ONE of them.” He got the point.
Walt, do you make up the meanings of akronyms people give you without explaining them? Someone told you to STFU and you just puzzled out the meaning?
Oh, and yes: people who take up more than one parking space are jerks. I won’t key their car, but I’ll leave a “You Park Like An Asshole” website card under their wiper.
Zeph, that’s not the part she is claiming to be a crime. And most people–MOST–wouldn’t pursue criminal charges for someone pissing on their car. This guy probably would. Everyone in this story sounds like an asshole. I’m trying to instill in my child a firm belief in the idea that people are worth a lot more than things. The boss obviously cares more about his car than about anything else in life. That’s sad. OP is an asshole, but I do see the joke. It IS kind of funny, but it would have obviously been funnier in real life if the boss hadn’t rushed home and ruined his vacation. I am a practical jokester at heart, so I kind of get this one. I would never try to ruin someone’s vacation, though.
I agree with you re: everyone being a jerk here. I also agree with “people are worth a lot more than things.” I never did get the point of keying cars – someone pisses you off, you screw up their paint and piss them off, the next person they interact with takes that anger, and it keeps being passed down the line. I’ll say this, though: pissing on someone’s car hood, maybe not. Pissing on someone’s t-top, THAT might soak in and be considered true property damage.
P.S. I also LOVE pranks. But I know where to draw the line. Canceling someone’s vacation isn’t funny, especially not solely because a guy thinks someone who loves their possessions too much needs to get fucked with just for the sake of screwing with them. Nothing funny about that.
Just hit me: a version of this that WAS funny.
There was a kid in my high school, can’t remember his name, who was a DICK. He was a jerk to everybody. But he was extremely popular despite this, because he owned a red Corvette. (Yeah, kids would hang around him despite being treated badly, even though I don’t think he even gave people rides in it). It was his precious baby, and it had an extremely loud car alarm. If said alarm went off, he’d dash out of whatever class he was in to check on it. He parked it in a lot that was immediately beside a covered walkway from one building to another.
Eventually, various people began making a point to walk over and poke the hood when running errands, knowing he’d go running out to check on it every time and that he’d never find any reason for the alarm to be going off. I never did this, but I occasionally saw it in action, and I heard the alarm go off at least once a day. I can’t remember if there was ever a resolution, or if anyone got caught, but I think it just kept happening until he graduated (he was one or two years above me). I had no classes with him that I remember, so I also don’t know whether teachers dinged him for leaving class.
P.S. on that: that parking lot was THE upperclassmen student lot, so he had no option to just park it elsewhere. Unless he wanted to use the freshman lot (which was across the street and made of gravel – fat chance!)
It’s all well and good to play pranks, but you have to be properly prepared…and not having your phone working was unacceptable. If I were your boss, I wouldn’t have come home for that, but I would have been upset by the news that something of mine had been wrecked. And I’d find the first reason I could to fire you, because you obviously don’t understand the important practicalities of playing jokes on people, and therefore are an unreliable person.
Wow Walter said STFU. The sky is falling and pigs are flying.
The rest of you are just a bunch of c*nt’s today.
That is all.
I’ll give the OP points on one, small thing: texting “The mechanic accidentally your car.” Someone up on memes might’ve caught that.
Otherwise, again, both OP and his boss were jerks.
i’m still laughing about Walter using STFU.
Joachim, ever heard of vagina dentata? It’s become a reality, the Rape-axe. Better think twice before raping anyone if you want to keep your d*ck.
T rex stop being a silly bitch.
I’ve been out of the office for a few days and I’m not going to read all this shit that you all have been saying but I did read some of it.
Here’s my take on it. The boss didn’t have to cancel his vacaiton and get a new ticket to fly back home. If someone texted me while I was away on vacation and told me my car was messed up, I’d call the mechanic first…I wouldn’t just come right back home.
Boss is stupid. The employee was stupid. T-Rex is stupid for thinking that is fraud.
You’re lucky. I would have fired your sorry ass. And maybe stomped it as well.