My boss is a weiner, or maybe I should say he is obsessed with them.
He was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. SADNESS! I know, it
really is quite tragic, especially because his number one dream in
life was to be a father and now he probably can’t. I’m not a cold
unfeeling bitch, it’s really sad, but the way he is coping is odd to
say the least. He is trying to start an awareness campaign, kind of
like the pink ribbons for breast cancer, only instead of ribbons he
has produced masses of penis stickers which he hands out to everyone.
Every day he asks us to wear one while at work, which is, needless to
say, highly inappropriate for any work environment, but especially one
where you interact regularly with children. He has given us all fake
testicles to hang from our car bumpers (or ball hitches, which is what
they are made for). If your car doesn’t have balls, he hounds you
every time he sees you. His latest attempt at awareness was a
fundraising wine and cheese tasting event, which is a great idea,
except that he had a local seamstress sew like 100 wrinkly looking
pink pouches, complete with 2 ping pong balls sewn inside, and those
decorated the hall where the fundraiser was held. I feel bad for the
guy, but at the same time work is growing more uncomfortable every
day. No one wants to call it sexual harassment, because it’s not about
power or sexual gratification or anything like that, it’s just weird.
Uncomfortable, inappropriate, weird, and a tad unprofessional.
Wow, that would really irritate me. You know. The more I think about it, it’s getting me upset. In fact, I’m getting really pissed off about it!
ARGGHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SMASH!
Dare I say it? Oh yes, why not? This guy is NUTS!
I have a close friend who had testicular cancer as well, he did have to have one removed. We actually have spent quite a bit of time working on a way to do fundraising because of the stigma no one really gets checked for it.
So I think the bosses idea is good but methods are bad, yeah.
Side note: My big idea for awareness is have a big iron man race, like obstacle course and mud and stuff like that and call it “Do you have the balls to save the balls?”
I’m sorry your boss has cancer, but someone needs to tell him to knock off the weird stuff. Ask for donationts to go to the American Cancer Society or someting, instead.
OP, you need to grow a pair and tell your boss that all of this focus on his genitalia is making you uncomfortable.
This story reminds me of a tale I heard a while back.
Seems an American visited the Far East for some R&R and caught a nasty STD. When he returned to the States, every American doctor he saw said the only solution was to cut off his reproductive organ.
Figuring a doctor from the Far East might know more about a disease from there, he visits a doc who has immigrated to America but grew up in China. He tells the doc that all the American doctors say he needs his d*** cut off.
“American doctors!” snorts the Chinese doc contemptuously, after examining him. “All they want to do is cut, cut, cut! You just go home, wait 3 weeks. Pecker fall off all by itself.”
Not a good situation, OP. I feel bad for your boss, though. Sounds like he got the shaft.
“I’m the cool out, makin it pop, it don’t stop, til I stack a million chips that’s off the top, is you feelin me?”
Magic City! 305!! WHAT!!!
I would suggest doing the leg work and give him some alternatives so that he can “focus his efforts to an already established group so that his time and effort will be more effective”
So, you’re not having a ball at work while the boss is worrying about his balls.
tell your boss to grow a pair. that should be funny
So, there’s this truck stop right off the highway about 40 miles from here. They got some pretty interesting foods in there…gator meat, ostrich meat, bison, elk, you name it. Anyways, I go on down there one night when I was feeling real adventurous. Was a snowy night. Hardly a soul on the road. Was getting kinda late, too. Most of the trucker were parked in the back, sleeping the snow away, or passing a hooker from truck to truck, or whackin off to missing children on milk cartons…or whatever truckers do. Anyhow, it was me and a couple of people in the whole restaurant. I look up at their menu board and they had bbq brahma bull testicle sandwiches. Sounded weird but the cook said it’s really good. So, I order up a couple of them sandwiches. Before it’s done, he says ‘Hey, DD, ya want some of the special sauce on it?’ And I say, “Sure do, buddy”. A few minutes later, he brings it out to me. Bull nuts covered in a white, cream sauce. Kinda smelled like a mild chlorine. But let me tell you, it was gooooooooood!
It sounds to me as though this boss is a highly inappropriate individual. Perhaps he should pray and ask God to cleanse his body and soul. The power of prayer is often underestimated in these situations.
Perhaps your boss – or some one in the office – could contact the Natioanl Cancer Institute (800-4-cancer)and ask about ideas for appropriate fund raising, etc. I know the Prostate Cancer Center sells blue wrist bands, similar to the pink ones for breast cancer, which might be something to try.
My godson had TC when he was in his twenties, and has fathered two daughters, so it is not the end of the world, but any sort of cancer is scary. Good luck to all of you!
I had a boss that had testular cancer and he was still able to father two children with his wife. My dad was diagnosed with the same cancer in 94 and his still healthy.
hey dan that reminds me of a joke. these two guys are lost in a desert and they are starving to death when they come across a dead cuyote that is all ate up with maggots and its all rotten. the first guy jumps on the rotten carcass and starts to eating it and looks at his buddy and says ‘ hey, you want some?’ and dude says ‘no’. then the first guy gets done eating and steps back and all of a sudden starts puking his guts out. his buddy jumps down and starts slurping up all the puke and eating it. the vomiting dude says ‘what the hell are you doing’! and the other dude says ‘ i knew if i waited long enough i could get me a hot meal’! lol lol
I find this story quite amusing, because it reminds me of how we are all supposed to buy pink products to support research into breast cancer, and you’re not allowed to criticise a teacher or student for wearing a shirt that says ‘I heart boobies’ to school.
I say, all the more power to the boss. If you don’t like it, I’m sure there are others who would happily take your place.
Hey, not everyone with testicular cancer can be a lying nasty hate filled piece of scum who suddenly decides to tell the truth on national television.
Ah, but if this would have been about a WOMAN having cancer for ANY part of her body. there would have been a benifit, raffle, 5k walk, stickers, magnets, coffee cups,buttons, balloons,etc.
Testicular cancer is serious but breast cancer robs the world of beauty. Therefore I support breast cancer research that the beauty of the world shall not be diminished.
My double dds thanks you for that mr. x
Kate you owe us a picture.
I think this sounds like a tale crafted to be amusing. If it is, it is amusing. If it is real, I agree with Taos. Good idea, poor execution.
This reminds me of an acquaintance who worked at a certain pizza chain for a few years. The chain changed their slogan to “HOT AND READY”, intending the slogan to refer to the freshness of their pizzas. At the location where my acquaintance worked, the largely female staff objected to wearing bright red shirts that said “HOT AND READY” across their chests, because of the obvious other meaning to the phrase. The boss forced them to wear them instead.
Yea, he is taking this in a crazy direction.
I had a co-worker who was a terrible alcoholic. She also had hepatitis C and needed a liver transplant.
She visited everyone’s desk, passed around organ donor cards to everyone, telling them, “it’s important to be an organ donor. I need a liver transplant.” People said, “You aren’t getting mine!”
I told her to stop it because some people have strong personal or religious beliefs about organ donation and it just wasn’t a good idea at work, no better than pushing religion on work hours.
Her response was “But I need a new liver!”
I said, “Everyone here knows you drink heavily! Everyone saw the newspaper item where you were arrested. You need to lay off.”
She said “I did nothing wrong.”