The Garage

So we got this new manager, right? Fresh out of college, starched
collar, clean fingernails, all that. He comes into the garage, pops a
CD in, and it’s Broadway show tunes. How gay IS this guy? Anyhow, me
and the guys, we all just shrug our shoulders and get to work. New guy
is trying to fit in, faking a Brooklyn accent and all, trying to sound
real tough. “That Andrew Lloyd Weber, ain’t he fucking fantastic?” he
says to me, straining to make his voice all deep. “Look, Nancy,” I
said to him. “You stay outta my way, I’ll say outta yours.” Thought I
was doing the kid a favor, offering him some advice about how a place
of business like this runs. Every day since then he’s gone out of his way
to be all up in my face about this that and the other thing. He might
be none too happy if all of us up and quit one day. Me and the guys, we
might just show this guy that some things, they just can’t teach in
business school.

The $10 Beej

I work in a small family run business. My boss is an 82 years old man.
His company has been in business for almost 50 years.

One day he came to me and offered to pay me $10 to give him a blow job.

I still work there and every once in a while he will tell me about
how he has slept with all but 2 of his employees.

Thank goodness I am one of those 2 employees. It makes me shudder every time
I think of it.

The Return Line

This is a story that happened to my mom at the store she used to work
at. Her boss was a complete tool. Once her friend got slapped by a
customer the boss took the customer’s side and fired her. The customer
slapped her because she wouldn’t return a used nightgown that had
holes and was faded and didn’t come from the store. Well fast forward
a week later and my mom was put in that department. She was
understandable not looking forward to it. Anyways a few hours into the
shift a crackhead came to her department and trying to return used
racetrack covered underwear with holes all in them. The crackhead
claimed they fell in the parking lot and that’s why they were in such
bad shape. My mom called the manager who told her give the crackhead
50 cents a pair. Needless to say my mom quit shortly after that.

The Germanator

My boss is learning German. He walks around the office practicing his
new language all the time. It’s great he is expanding his horizons,
but he always sounds so angry. He is normally soft spoken but when
he’s speaking in German he practically yells as he walks about the
office. It doesn’t help that he has started carrying around a riding
crop and hits it on desks and chairs at the end of his angry German
sentences. I hope someone tells him soon that he’s perpetuating a
terrible stereotype.