My first full time job after school was being an assistant manager at
The Gap. This was like 1992-93. Like Gap hayday. Pretty much on the
first day I knew this job wasn’t gonna work out. Being taught how to
fold clothes with that board thing and convincing customers to
‘accessorize’ just wasn’t for me. My manager was this guy (let’s call
him Doug). Doug was obsessed with the Gap and obsessed with our
store. He would tell me things like I should try and hang out with
Gap employees on my days off and that I should save money to buy Gap
clothes so I’m always up to date with the stuff I wore– weirdo like
creepy Gap government stuff like that. He would sometimes work in the
store (swear) 30-40 hours straight. I’m not sure if he was coked up or
what but he’d stay overnite in the store and then work into the next
day. It was sick.
One day he told me he was sending me to Gap class. I had to drive to
some weird place and had to sit in a room all day while the Gap
teacher taught a group of us about Fall colors and their names.
Things weren’t just green. They were ‘autumn mist’. Stuff like that.
I had Gap philosophy drilled into my head and all that. At this point
I started to get a little creeped out by the intensity of the Gap and
felt little bits of it actually getting thru.
Anyway back at the store there were problems. We were getting robbed
on my watch alot apparently. At least that’s what Doug told me I
guess to make me feel like I needed to stop shoplifters. Doug told me
that if someone rips off the store and runs off that I should be at a
point where I chase them down the street. And I’m thinking, ‘I ain’t
chasing no-body down no-street no-way for no-thing no-how..’ I could
see myself chasing the wrong person who pulls out a gun and I end up
in a denim coffin with big belt wrapped around it. (courtesy of Gap
Sometimes the District Manager who we were supposed to be scared of
‘Jim’ would stop in. He would drive up in his Porsche and park right
in front and make a big to-do about his beeper car alarm thing. He
would make sure to let everyone know that he had a Porsche (of course
he’d pronounce it Por-Sha) and that if we work hard like him one day
we could have a Por-Sha too. He once called me over to the wall of
jeans that I had just folded and pulled like 10 cubby fulls out of
the wall and dropped them at my feet. He told me to redo them because
they weren’t ‘crisp’ enough. Then walked away like a dick as I stood
like knee high in jeans that I just folded. Doug then came over angry
at me because Jim was angry at me.
Two months later I’m still at the Gap. And we hear our little store
is going to moved in the big mall to be a big super Gap. And it will
be the new ‘Flagship’ store for the Gap chain. This put Doug into
overdrive. He became a maniac. He was always threatening us that
‘Mickey (the CEO) is coming! Mickey might drop in the store today!
MICKEY MIGHT BE HERE AT ANY SECOND! And we’d all have to be so
buttoned down. Mickey never showed. I’m not sure if this was a
management tactic or a fantasy of his.
At this point Doug seemed to be in the store like practically 24/7.
His eyes were bleary and wild and he’d make me stay all hours with
him sometimes. One night he got himself completely convinced that
Mickey was coming the next day. So it was the two of us in the store
around 2AM and he came up to me with a pair of scissors (i remember
being a little scared because he looked crazy and had scissors). But
he didn’t stab me. He just told me to cut the all the little frayed
fringes on the carpet around the perimeter of the store under the
racks. I stared at him and thought about refusing based on principle
but then the voice in my head reminded me that this job involved
laying on the floor. So I did it.
Anyway the job only lasted a week or so after that. Doug was nuts.
Making sure the storeroom was crispy folded and shit like that. Doug
confronted me pissed off because the gap teacher told him I looked
completely bored in Gap class and said I showed no enthusiasm. He
told me this looked bad on him.
I knew it was over for me and the Gap. I quit. And that was that.
So my first job was as general help at a store about a twenty minute
walk from my house. I tended to bike there because it was easy. Due
to spending a lot of time outside biking and putting out produce in
some front bins I spent a lot of time in the sun resulting in my
blonde hair getting even lighter.
I was learning German at the time and an exchange student from my
school who shopped at this store would talk to me in German when he
came to help me out.
Well one day the man in charge of me, another employee not a boss
walks over and in a very serious tone he asks.
“Are you certain you need to practice your second language? And if so,
could you change what language you are learning?”
I didn’t know how to feel, it was like being told NOT to do my
homework. I simply replied politly that I needed the practice and
would not change the language as my Papa who had passed away only two
years earlier was German and very proud of it.
The subject dropped and he left me alone for a little while.
Next thing I know the boss is approaching me, I’d only met him twice
but from what I knew and heard he was always very nice, I asked him
if I could help him, his response?
“I was approached by *employee who talked to me last time* and he was
saying that you speak and are German.” I simply nodded not
understanding how this was important. “He also put forward that your
hair has become a considerbly lighter shade of blonde.” At this point
I pointed out that I’ve spent a lot of time in the sun. “And yours eyes
are blue…. he is concerned you may be… a Nazi.”
I have never been more appalled in my life, apperently I’m not
allowed to be a blonde hair and blue eyed German, I should point out
my hair and eye color is from my Irish father.
I handed my boss the broom, handed over my shirt and apron right
there and walked home, mid-October in dress pants and a tank top. I
was that angry. There was a valid reason my family left Germany, that
was it. I found out from the lady who hired me that the man had been
fired and I could have my job back, I said no, I was concentrating on
my studies to go to Germany next summer.
My trip was absolutly amazing!
My boss is a nice lady, however extremely closed-minded. I work as a
receptionist for a large company. We have a locked front door which I
have to buzz to let visitors in. Sometimes we have homeless people
come and knock on the door or just generally hang out on the stairs
out front. She always makes a comment on their ragged appearance and
states that they are homeless because they are ALL drug-addicts.
One of the male workers in our building is a bit of a grump. He is
always coming to me complaining about something that’s wrong with the
building, usually the air con being either too hot or too cold, day
after day. We are in the process of having the air cons removed and
having a larger & better one installed – something that was pushed
through the pipelines by him and his division. I have nothing to do
with the buying of this air con, it’s all done in our head office, in
another state. I just try to soothe him & keep the peace when he comes
to me arms-flailing and madly upset with something..
So my boss says to me the other day that he must be gay. Confused, I
asked why she thought that.
“because he’s always so grumpy”
“What does that have to do with being gay?”
“Well..” She sneered “He’s probably at the stage where he’s confused
& angry and trying to come out of the closet, and he has to take his
frustrations out on the world”.
I know this guy better than her as I deal with him daily, plus he has
a wedding band on – and gay marriages aren’t legal in Australia.
Lastly, I have a few gay friends – who aren’t grumpy 24/7..
When I was younger I was really big into the custom car scene. I had
a brand new truck back in 01′ that had been customized to the hilt.
It had $5000 worth of Air Suspension work to set it on the ground,
The big Rims, about $3000 worth of Custom Leather interior, and my
trophy winner was the $11,000 worth of custom paint that had been
On it’s first voyage out of the garage to a local cruise fest one
nice and sunny Saturday, I spotted a car wash being done by some very
fine young ladies from a local college. I figured I would show off a
bit so I pulled in to get the dust sprayed off my truck, and then I
could detail it before the show.
Come to find out, the car wash was being held by LU, (Jerry Falwell’s
college), and the girls were actually raising money to go on a mission
trip to “spread the word”. I was glad to donate to the cause,… after
they washed my truck that is.
About halfway through my wash job a friend of mine pulls in and we
got to talking,….in mid sentence he stops me and says “Hey, I think
they’re scrubbing the front of your truck with a brillo pad”
HOLY CRAP !! He was right !! I immediately yelled for them to Stop !!
A professor from the college was in charge of the car wash, and I
explained to her as kindly as I could that if there was any damage to
my vehicle they would have to pay for it. I felt really bad because it
was a church thing =/
TO make a Reaaally long story as short as I can, I wasn’t the only
one who had their vehicle sanded down by the “college” geniuses that
The damage to my vehicle alone was over $5000 just to repaint the
hood and fenders. And since I was in business with one of the biggest
collision repair shops in the town, alot of other vehicles with the
same damaged rolled into the shop within the next few weeks. From
what we could tell the college had to dole out over $32,000 to others
after it was all said and done with. (Which Ironically, was a big
business boom for us that month !!)
I hated being an ass about it all, and I felt sorry for being one of
the many to destroy their fund raising efforts, but that is alot of
money, and people weren’t happy about having their new cars ruined.
They did pay without me or anyone else having to press charges. The
professor whom I confronted apologized while giving me the check for
my vehicle, and explained that “We were just trying to get the bugs
off the front of the cars”.
I’m thinking the “Professor” will not be in charge of any more car
washes. And I hope the school teaches some more “common sense” in the
future. Just think, all of these College graduates __ could be future
bosses. This website may be around for a loooooong time.