Crane Gang

I worked second shift at a production plant years ago. When I came in
to my shift my boss told me to follow him and we went to a new
warehouse that had been built on the property. He showed me that they
were needing to put a small crane inside to do some work but it was
about 6 inches to high to fit in the overhead doorway. He said they
spent most of the day trying to figure out how to get it in and then
presented me some hand drawn plans to remove giant sections of outer
walls over 25 feet high to create an opening to move the boom in. He
warned me that damaging any part of the structure could cost me my
job.

He went home and I called him 30 minutes later to let him know that I
got the crane inside the building. He began to yell saying that I had to have
damaged the doorway to get it in and we were going to have a meeting
tomorrow as soon as I come in the next day. After he stopped yelling
I told him I let some air out of the tires and drove it in.

It was never discussed again.

Frozen In Time

So one day, while I was working at a local grocery store, my boss
comes over and tells me to go into the freezer and get some ice-cream
out. Being a good little worker bee, I went in to get it only to be
assaulted by what can only be described as the smell of frozen
diarrhea. As I ran out of the freezer my boss and the store manager
were just rolling. They then told me to wait around and look busy as
they had one of the girls I worked with go it to get ice-cream. This
repeated until all of his employees had gone into the freezer and had
a wonder smell of his nasty farts.

Just The Tip

My ex-boss, who never met a gun or weapon that he didn’t like,
arrived for our weekly staff meeting with a large bandage on his
finger. He explained that he had been at the archery range practicing
when he accidently shot an arrow through the end of his finger.

A colleague spoke up and said, “What, didn’t you know it was
loaded?”

We were both laid off a few months later.

Wow…

I had worked for a wonderful boss for about 7 years and really
enjoyed my job as an Admin Asst, when my husband was diagnosed with
cancer. During the entire process of treating the cancer, I
understandably had to take quite a bit of time off to take him to
chemo treatments, doctor’s appointments, etc., never once did my boss
complain and he even suggested, when I ran out of paid time off, that
I work through lunch and/or come in a little early to make up for the
time I would have to be out of the office, because he knew that we
were surviving off my income only. Great boss, huh? Except for the
fact, that he apparently forgot this agreement and called me on the
carpet for working unapproved overtime, when in fact, I was still
only working 40 hours a week. But we managed to get past this
incident.

Well, my husband lost his battle with cancer and since he was not
from the state in which he died two memorial services were planned;
one here and one where his family lived. This would require that I
miss yet another 3 days of work, in addition to the paid 3 days the
company paid for the loss of a family member.

After I had returned to work from the second memorial service, I was
still reeling from the loss of my husband and was understandably not
up to my usual attention to detail, though I tried very hard to make
sure that nothing was left undone or unattended, I just wasn’t as
fast as I would have been normally. Anyway, I get called into his
office the third day after I returned to work and get written up
because I was slacking and the quality of my work had fallen off.

I told him to save himself the effort of putting it into my personal
file, because effective immediately, I was turning in my two week
notice. I was going to follow through on the plans that my husband
and I had made and I would be quitting work to return to school and
be able to devote myself to my son at a time when he really needed a
full-time parent. At which point, he asked me to stay and train my
replacement!

It’s been five years now, and I still have trouble believing that the
person who during my entire time with the company, was like a father
to me, would do a complete 180 degree turn at a time when I needed
some normality to my life.