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Send Flowers
I once worked for a very small company and ran the office. The
President/Owner of the company was such a horrible man that he made
grown men cry, on more than one occasion. But my worst story happened
when my grandfather died.
When I called my boss to let him know I would be taking the week off
for the arrangements and the funeral, he told me that no one needed
that much time off for a funeral. This was after I told him I had to
drive 10 hours up to my hometown. He expected me to only drive up the
night before the funeral and then drive back as soon as it was done.
After I explained that this was impossible because I needed to attend
the wake and the service, not to mention help my parents and
grandmother out with the arrangements, he finally agreed to give me
the week off. The second day that I was there, he called me and
proceeded to scream at me for leaving and not telling him how long I
would be gone. For 15 minutes he screamed about how I was lucky to
have this job and that if I didn’t come back immediately I wouldn’t
have it. I told him that I would be back in a week and if that
required me quitting than so be it. He immediately got contrite and
asked what my grandmothers address was so he could send flowers. I
was dumbfounded.
I got back the next week and he proceeded to berate me in front of
our entire sales staff for being lazy and inconsiderate. I gave him
my notice immediately.
I found out later from one of the sales guys that not a single
employee, either outside sales or office employees stayed more than a
month after I left.
22 Comments to Send Flowers
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I believe almost everything you said except for him screaming for 15 minutes about how lucky you are and about all the employees left within a month. But we all need to know….
Did he send flowers?
Here come the Trolls.
Example: “Oh yet another they closed after I quit story boo hoo”
Ignore them. Family comes first. Always.
Hey look, another “Everyone left after I showed them the way story.”
He made grown men cry? Men who get that angry don’t cry – they fight.
That’s what happens when you work for a small company – no rights to bereavement time, job-protected time off, paid vacation, or personal leave. If you want the big benefits, work for a big employer who can grant you those.
P.S. – it was nice of him to send you flowers, don’t you think?
I don’t get it. You guys can’t take time off without giving a good reason to your boss? I’ve worked in different country, with local contract, and when i wanted time off, i just said it, and took it.
Why the hell you need to explain why you need 1 week to take care of your grand father funeral? And how can this douche argue that you don’t need that long. This place can’t run without you for 1 week?
I call BS!
I think your parents and grandmother could probably have handled most of the arrangements without you having to be physically present. I believe three days is typical for bereavement leave, so I’m not surprised he didn’t want to give you the whole week off. However, his behavior fits the classic pattern of a bully: vicious when he thinks he has the upper hand, then suddenly craven when he thinks he doesn’t. Can’t blame you for not wanting to work for someone like that.
Why would your parents and grandmother need YOUR help in making funeral arrangments? Why should your boss give you an entire week off for a funeral? Get real. The standard is three days.
My condolences, but a week off for bereavement is a little much. Most companies give 2 or 3 days max.
I call bull on this one!
my work mate got a week off for her uncle in law
And here come the, “I’m holier than thou” self-righteous, self-important people who will comment that the “trolls” will be coming.
Ignore them. They are no better than anyone else, even if they believe they are.
“Standard is three days?” In what world? When my coworker’s father suddenly had a heart attack and died she got two weeks.
Most companies bereavment time is 3 days for IMMEDIATE family. Your grandfather is not immediate, mother, father, sister, brother……Anything else, you can take time off for vacation time or unpaid leave, but not a week. That’s excessive.
Three days? Unless you are an Orthodox Jew, there’s no way you can get a person buried in three days. And then you sit shiva for a week. If a person dies on Monday, it’s usually Wednesday before the viewing (Tuesday to prepare the body), and even if you only have a single day (in this area, two days viewing is the custom) that means the funeral is Thursday. So you can have to work the day after the death or the day of the funeral? And, “I can’t come to granny’s funeral. My boss says she’s not family”? For pete’s sake – that’s not Reason!
The days employers generally give the 3 days off for is for the viewing, the funeral, and the day before/after. Most people, unless it’s a parent (if the other has already passed away) or a child that the funeral is for, aren’t actually involved in the planning process and, although may feel like they need at least a week for grieving time, don’t really need the extra days off (in the eyes of a business, not my own opinion). It may seem cruel or heartless but we can’t forget that the world hasn’t stopped turning just because someone we love has passed on.
@VoiceofReason: sorry, but many companies include grandparents as immediate family.
Also, 3 days off for an out-of-state is feasible. I did it for my grandmother, flew several states away day before the service & back the day after. YES, some airlines still offer bereavement fares.
“we can’t forget that the world hasn’t stopped turning just because someone we love has passed on” – no, the world hasn’t stopped turning just because a member of my family has died. By the same logic, the world should also not stop turning simply because I can’t be at work. Especially if I tell my boss exactly how long I need to be away with sufficient notice. Businesses should have contingency plans.
gjgjgj,
yes SUFFICIENT NOTICE is one thing, but if it’s something sudden, one is unable to give much advance notice. There’s a difference between letting your boss know a few months ahead of time that you may soon need time off for bereavement (for a terminally ill relative) and telling your boss the day before. In the eyes of the employer, if you’re not at work, you’re not making the company money. I’m not saying this is right in any way, but more often than not people forget that they’re not the centre of the universe and believe they’re entitled to whatever they want.
Yes I’ve had a few very close people (not family, but teachers, mentors, and friends) pass away recently and yes I was upset, but I knew I had to get on with life.
gjgjgj-
“very small” businesses expect all their workers to come in a lot more than they don’t. They don’t just expect it, it’s a necessity to keep their business running.
A week for a very small business is a lot of time off. especially since most companies don’t include grandparents in “immediate family”.
You must not understand what a “very small” business is. ( I quote “very small” from the first line of OP’s post) They are not big mega corporations and most often cannot afford a back up plan when someone all of the sudden decides they need a week off.
It is completely acceptable for a small business to ask someone to drive up and back. That would take 3 days max. They cant stop operation because a member of your extended family passed away.
Thats not saying you wont be grieving past that point, but life for everyone “including yourself and the business, cannot stop.
Here in Ontario… we get 10 days per calendar year for the death, illness, and/or injury of family members. We also get 12 days per year of sick time for ourselves. That’s government-set standards. Many companies are more generous with time off here as well. My company makes the 12 sick days for ourselves paid days. Sounds like working in America is the shits.
Did he really send flowers
Oh, and Canada, go back to your beaver wife and maple syrup still. In America we have something called work ethic. It’s the reason you will always be in our shadow.