My boss took me out for drinks last week. He kept my glass full and
before I knew it I was shitfaced. As if some college hazing ritual he
keep pressuring me to drink more, and I did against my better
judgment. Then he went to the bathroom and never came back. I waited
like 45 minutes. I was highly intoxicated, and I knew I shouldn’t
drive, but I figured I could walk home. So I leave the bar and there
is a shiny new bicycle leaned up against a post. In my drunken stupor
I think hey bicycle, I could get home a lot faster with these wheels.
I think I made it across the street when a cop stops me and tells me
that bike was reported stolen. It had literally only been a few
minutes. He made me do field sobriety tests because apparently you
don’t have to be driving a car to be charged with a DUI. Also
borrowing a bike can be misconstrued as theft. I called the boss to
bail me out and he came down and gave me a ride home, but we drove
around for HOURS while he lectured me on the evils of alcohol. WTF? A
few days later I got a notice that the theft charge had been dropped
as the “victim” didn’t want to press charges, but I had to fight the
DUI charge. So I was feeling at about the lowest point in my life and
I mentioned it to a co-worker. Apparently a similar thing happened to
another co-worker shortly after he started here, too. Eerily similar.
After comparing our stories, we concluded that the boss set us up. I
don’t know if he’s just an evil fucker or if he really hates alcohol
and uses this as a means to show people how bad alcohol is or what.
I’m not going out for drinks with a boss ever again.