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The South

Back in the mid-nineties due to some bad personal decisions I was
forced to take a cashier’s job at the only game in town–the
world-dominating discount megastore. When I and several new hires
were introduced to the customer service manager to whom we’d be
reporting, her eyes got wide when I introduced myself, then she
curled up her face like she was smelling something bad.

At first I thought I was just being paranoid, but after checking with
others it was plain that this woman had it in for me. I got the worst
shifts consistently while watching people with less time move to
better shifts. If someone released some disgusting bodily fluid
somewhere even if there were lines at the registers going to the back
of the store I’d be pulled to go clean it up. She would threaten to
write me up constantly for stuff like “not smiling wide enough.” I
lived for the days she was off because the other managers had no
problem with me. After about two months of this (remember, only game
in small town or else I would have fled) I went to another manager
who I got along with and asked what I did to make my boss dislike me
so much. The answer floored me.

See, this was the south. I’m from the north. I found out that her
nickname for me was “Yankee B—-.” Then I remembered her car,
covered with Confederate flag stickers. Apparently some people were
still fighting the Civil War and when my new boss heard my
non-southern accent I became the Evil Yankee and she the Avenging Reb
That Would Make Me Pay For Her Ancestors Losing The War. The worst
part of all this was that I couldn’t go to the main manager and
complain … because he was my boss’ father (unfortunately
anti-nepotism laws hadn’t kicked in yet).

“I need the money, I need the money” became my mantra as I trudged to
abuse every day. But then came Black Friday, the day after
Thanksgiving. I was scheduled to come in at five in the morning and
work until eleven a.m. This was the year that Tickle Me Elmo was all
the rage, so I started my work day nearly getting trampled by the
gathered masses wanting that stupid doll. There were huge crowds, of
course, and everyone had been warned to strictly adhere to time
limits for breaks and meals. I was so busy that I was surprised to
see it was nearly ten when I got a look at a clock. I was dying of
thirst and had to go to the bathroom, so when a manager walked by I
politely asked if I could take my break since I was overdue.

“You’re marked that you went at eight.”

“No, I haven’t, I swear.”

Fortunately another manager corroborated my story and I was released.
I went to the bathroom and was sitting in the break room drinking a
soda when my boss stormed in, screaming about me being late coming
back from my break. I’d only been gone five minutes but apparently
this was only considered a bathroom break, which was a mandated three
minutes. So to the tune of my boss’ screaming I ran back to my
register. Finally eleven o’clock came and I began preparing to leave.
My boss saw this and rushed over, asking where I was going. I told her
that my shift was over. I was told that it wasn’t and shown a new
schedule that I’d never seen. It had me coming in at eight and
leaving at four. “And you ain’t getting out of it,” my boss said.
“I’m keeping my eye on you the whole rest of the time.”

So yes, I was there for eleven hours. That five minute break? The
only one I had. At the end, I closed out my register, took off my
blue vest, went to my boss and threw it at her, telling her I was
quitting. I also informed her that the first person on either side of
my family to arrive in America did so in 1905, forty years after her
precious war ended. “You lost, get the eff over it!” were my final

I found out a few years ago that another northerner with better
resources successfully sued the store–and my boss–for
discrimination. There was also a class action lawsuit filed because
of stuff like not being allowed to go on breaks and having schedules
altered without knowledge. So that horrible Friday recently resulted
in a nice four-figure check for me. Ah, the sweet smell of karma …

22 Comments to The South

  1. Great, OP got a 4 figure paycheck because someone else took the initiative to file a suit.

    I was a carpetbagger for awhile.
    It’s no fun, and you never totally fit in, no matter how long you may reside in the south.

  2. patricko on December 16th, 2013
  3. no one comes to this site anymore because the admin got fat and lazy.

  4. urbanpossum on December 16th, 2013
  5. I’d like to say that the gradual failure of thie website to maintain our interest has resulted in increased productivity in the workplace…

    but I can’t.

  6. patricko on December 17th, 2013
  7. Perhaps you should pay more attention to personal hygiene, story teller. If someone wrinkles their nose at you as if you cause offense to their olfactory senses, you may be in need of a shower. Further, your refusal to commit to the job speaks volumes of your work ethic. However, all of that being said, this woman should probably consider finding a good husband and devoting her time to raising a family.

  8. Walternate the Costco Fareweller on December 17th, 2013
  9. Patricko – it was probably a class action lawsuit. Everyone gets paid in those.

    OP – Take patricko’s comment as a GOOD thing because who the FUCK would want to FIT IN with the backwards, cousin screwing, inbred south?

  10. Chihuahua Mom on December 17th, 2013
  11. Chi – I know. but somebody ELSE had to take the initiative to start the suit, and OP bragged about the check they received. That’s all I was saying.

    I can find no fault in the rest of what you posted :)

  12. patricko on December 17th, 2013
  13. Yeah, cause clayuss ackshun soots always re-zult in big pay days…

  14. Jimbo on December 18th, 2013
  15. Screw this place… Mods, suck my ass.

  16. No One on December 20th, 2013
  17. Yup, the South lost the war. The South shall NOT “rise again.” You’re not going to secede all over again so you can legitimize your bigotry.

  18. Zephyr Skunk on December 22nd, 2013
  19. This would never happen at Walmart.

  20. Red Raider on December 23rd, 2013
  21. Yeah Red Raider, Walmart treats their employees far worse!

  22. Zephyr Skunk on December 24th, 2013
  23. let’s update once a month and wonder why no one is coming to this sight

  24. kissarmy1979 on December 25th, 2013
  25. How is everyone? Long time no see. Hope everyone’s chHow is everyone? Long time no see. Hope everyone’s christmas was great mine sucked. My family decided to have christmas on christmas eve without me because they cliaimed I ristmas was great mine sucked. My family decided to have christmas on christmas eve because they claimed it was because I was working too late but it,was only till 7 pm. I’m so pissed I missed my niece’s christmas!

  26. Kate on December 25th, 2013
  27. Hey, Kate, sorry your Christmas eve sucked. Ummm….here in the Land Down Under, “pissed” means “drunk” more often than “pissed off”….I can’t help wondering which meaning applied when wrote your post…:/

  28. Deep Thought on December 25th, 2013
  29. Are you high?

  30. suze face on December 25th, 2013
  31. Ouch. Both for the situation and for fragmented run-on sentences. I hope your New Years is better.

  32. Zephyr Skunk on December 25th, 2013
  33. Sorry about the bad grammar, I’m just sobhurt right now.

  34. Kate on December 25th, 2013
  35. Were you high when you wrote that? Probably why they did Christmas while you were gone, no one likes being around high/drunk people but other high/drunk people.

  36. No One on December 26th, 2013
  37. I don’t put up with silly savages who treat me like so much SHEE-ut, ya know??

  38. Handlebar Said It on December 28th, 2013
  39. So, in other words, Walt would drive you nuts, Handlebar.

    Merry Christmas, everybody!

  40. Zephyr Skunk on December 28th, 2013
  41. Happy 2014 to all denizens of TMB!

  42. Zephyr Skunk on January 2nd, 2014
  43. Wow sounded like the boss was a complete nightmare. If it was me I would have quit when they told me the shift had been changed while on shift. Total bull crap.

    Pretty much all minimum wage jobs are crap holes to be in. Thank god I sent myself off to college.

  44. chikitabanana on February 16th, 2014

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